This one was for you ! You know who you are !

This was dedicated to you . You were all I talked about all day and memories just kept flowing <3

Why do I have to be such a little bitch about my situation . Note to self , man the fuck up .

Not going to Philly AM

Done with contests . I decided that tonight . I'm going to Philly in the AM to film some real skateboarding . Tom Asta better watch out . Bryan Williams is doing a couple tricks down the LO VE fountain gap . . . Magazine cover or leg breaker ! Stoked . But not really . . . Hopefully skating through South St alone will ease my mind for a little while . Probably not though , it will probably just bring back more memories that will make my day even worse . GREAT !

Every breathe I take I pay interest

 " So fake , so fake . Pretending like you care , that's the worst part . Then doing the opposite 24/7.... It sickens me . You act like I don't exist than pretend that you love me and need me in your life etc . . Sick of it . Done listening to the bullshit . I need to move on before I go insane thinking about how you actually feel because your always fucking doing 360s . Fuck that . Have fun with your little facebook and whatever the fuck else . I'm sick of this fucking pain "

Don't make permanent decisions based off temporary emotions - George ( My brother ) Taught me a thing or two . State of mind check , relax before you do , something that you really don't wanna do . - Duddy <3

If that's

How it works than I must be undereducated because it makes no sense at all to me . Fuck it , I give up trying to understand , not like it matters anymore right

On the verge of deciding to not give a fuck about anything anymore

Lyric (s)

" Death gotta be easy cause life is hard " - 50 cent . He's starting to make a lot of sense

OFWGKTA

What a dumb fucking choice

What the fuck . I seriously need to get out of here

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They say from darkness comes light . It's not even possible for light to get in anymore . Fuck it , I'll sit in the dark for the rest of my life

I took these 2 pictures just before my week was ruined ! As if it wasn't already !

Woohoo

So not only do I have to deal with this 18 months agreement and no rights to my child basically regarding custody / name / etc . . . But I also have to pay a $200 court fine as well as this $1200 for my lawyer ! How amazing !

Decided

To attend Philly AM 3 thus weekend . Need to find someone / people to bring with me . Otherwise I'll probably be too nervous to compete .

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" Let the humans suffer without my knowledge of the everything "

My head's going to explode

From everything that needs and should be said but can't be for the next 18 months . FUCK !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm looking at you through the glass , don't know how much time has past

Not edited , should be , but not . Shitty pictures but I like them

The decision

I'm being forced to make a decision in which will be the hardest decision of my life . It sucks that the thing I want to choose is what my family is trying so hard to make not possible . If there was a better way to put it . Oh wait that's right I don't have freedom of speech . Regardless . . . Fuck my life

Deleting

I'm deleting this stupid thingy tonight . There's no point in having it . Toodles

Nevermind

Not going to Philly AM this weekend . I'll figure out something else to skate . I'll be putting up some mroe pictures from Easter and some random ones I took on my adventure

Good for you

Be with him , I'll pretend that I don't give two shits until I actually don't give two shits . Wish you both the worst , thanks for everything by the way guys !

Philly AM 3

Philly AM 3 is this weekend . Where's that four leaf clover !

Even the sun doesn't help

I thought human beings had a right called freedom of speech ? Whatever happened to that ? I don't even feel safe writing how I feel on this blog thingy because somehow it's going to eventually be used against me . I can't even express how much I love that person etc . . . Fuck this so called "Freedom of Speech" . They should probably re-name it "Freedom of what we say you can say" . I want to type a lot . I would be typing pages right now . But I'm going to be smart and bottle it up so that good or bad it won't end up hurting me in the end . I am my own worst enemy .

Post

I'd "blog" about something .. Maybe even have something to say ... But I'm forever speechless

Hello Florida

Florida is going to be my new home within the next couple of weeks . I'm very unbalanced with the whole thing but it seems as if this is what's best for everyone . You can take all old roses with you , I've got new gardens I must grow . Today was the day I never thought I would see . Life changes , and changes fast so I guess it's my turn to adapt to these changes and move forward in life . Putting Delaware and everyone / thing in it behind me completely for once . Swallowing my whole experience here since birth is a pretty tough thing to do . These people here are now dead to me forever . Brainwashing myself into "happiness" and motivation . "Life's Good"

Can't wait !

Wall - E

Hopefully watching Wall - E and Finding Nemo will cheer me up tonight . It's going to be the longest night of my life . = ( WAH

Test pictures with my Canon T3i Rebel

These pictures were not taken on highest resolution . They were taken with stock ISO settings as well as resolution settings . These are a few pictures I took today to test out my Canon T3i Rebel SLR camera !

Like I said these were just some cool test pictures . Still getting used to figuring out the settings and everything but this works for me for now ! Happy Easter to all of you "Jesus believers"

Lights will guide you home

Never make permanent decisions based off of temporary emotions .

Tom Asta goes pro

TOM ASTA PRO PART !  Watch that if you haven't already seen it . Everything about this video is amazing . Tom will also be a judge at philly AM on the 30th !

Rough

The last thing I need is people putting me down . That's all anyone wants to do recently and I've had enough of it . Aside from that nonsense , learning my T3i is extremely hard for a scrub to SLR's like me . Good thing I have the manual and youtube , or else I'd be alone in the dark .


Why is it every thought ? Every tv show ? Every skateboard trick ? Every drink/food item ? Every dream ? Every 10 seconds ? I see you in everything and it's blurring my vision

Finally ! T3i !

Just got my brand new Canon T3i ! So stoked and ready to film some skateboarding in 1080 p HD ! Woohoo ! Can you say eating up this 32 gb memory card with pictures in the next 2 days ? I can = )
Although this is fucking awesome . I have Monday to dread . . . Ahh just thinking about it makes me go nuts .

I'm not crazy I'm just a little unwell

http://www.youtube.com/user/LRGRootDown?feature=mhum#p/f/51/WziA88-n02k

Someday

Try to lie but it ain't me Ain't me
Try to look but I can't see
Can't stop right now cause I'm too far and I can't keep goin' cause it's too hard
In the day in the night it's the same thing
On the field on the block it's the same game

On the real if you stop then it's no pain but if you can't feel pain then it's no gain
Rearrange and you change and it's all bad and you try to maintain but you fall back
And you crawl and you slip and you slide down
Wanna make it to the top better start now
So I hold my soul and I die hard
All alone in the night in the graveyard
Someday one day I'm gonna be free and they won't try to kill me for being me
Hey, someday

Bye

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q9o8SlyPB84&feature=channel_video_title

A life ruining day

I talked to my lawyer . He basically told me I was fucked , and fucked out of custody rights of any sort in the future . I've never been this hurt or low before . My life is over .

Camera !

Filming Filming Filming and some more filming ! I'm buying the Canon t3i Rebel this week = ) I hear it's not the best in the price range for stills but for HD 1080p recording it is the best in it's class for recording . I'm probably going to use this song for my "part" if I don't decide to go with Coldplay or dirty heads - "shine" . Check it out !  Perpetual Groove - Three Weeks

PHILLY AM 3 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Philly AM skateboarding contest is coming back to Black Diamond on April 30th ! I'm super stoked ! But at the same time extremely bummed because there is no way in hell I'm skating nearly as well as last time without my good luck charm . Guess for the next week or so I'll be searching for a four leaf clover to put in my pocket and skate with =( Ahhhhhhhhhh . Any who , come out and watch or come out and enter . Beginner / Intermediate / Advanced / Sponsored . Oh yeah forgot to mention . . . LRG IS SPONSORING THIS ONE <3 Can't wait !
 Admission is $20 . Best trick is at the end of the day . Helmet required and if under 18 pads are as well . Cash prizes are going out this time . Like I said before . . Going to be super fun , but I can't imagine skating a contest without her there . Check it out for more details http://www.three16.com/phillyam2011.html !!!

True love

True love to me means that both people love each other . Forever , set in stone , concrete , unbreakable love . Love that overpowers faults , mistakes , regrets . Love that is unconditional and both people feel it and feel it the same . True love is something I always thought I had . The worst part of maturing and "becoming an adult" is to not have someone there for you when you need a shoulder to cry on , you have to handle it yourself and move on . Someone give me a shoulder ?

Realized

I think one of the worst parts of life is knowing that the person you love more than anyone or anything in the world . Loves someone else , and did the entire time they were with you . There's nothing worse than a broken heart and soul . I don't know what to do anymore .. I quit life as of right now .

Once every 5 minutes

At least once every five minutes you cross my mind . Than for the rest of the day I can't stop thinking about you . It feels like I'm having a heart attack every time I think about you . My heart starts pumping , I get hot and sweaty , I get stabbed repeatedly in the heart by the burn . I don't know how to turn the light off and even if I did , the pain is worth keeping it on .

Tomorrow =(

So at 9 AM I have to drive to Media , PA to meet up with my lawyer for a case that is going to be completely life changing . I never thought I would be in this position . But I put myself in this position . Word of advice for the people of today . Let go of the past . Treat everyone how you want to be treated . Always control your emotions and don't let them control you . And never disrespect a woman . Or you'll be sitting down here in hell with me . Toodles

Cody Davis blowin' up

CODY DAVIS IT'S YOUR WORLD !          So basically I watched Cody's part from the new world industries video . . . My prediction is that the second another rep see's this footage he's going to switch board companies and fast . This kid grew up in a matter of 5 minutes . He used to be a 13 year old shredder three days ago and now he's kickflip crooking 8 rails . Watch this ! Absolutely fantastic !

Learning

I guess I just didn't want to have to learn to accept things as how they will be . I'll start working on that . I really just need to worry about myself instead of having nightmares and depressing thoughts 24/7 . I'm looking at " a ghost of a good thing" . A thing I wish we never destroyed . Love isn't supposed to be like this . But life isn't fair , another thing I'm also learning to accept . . . .

............

I love you with all my heart . I love you with everything that I have / had / and ever will have . You mean the world to me and nothing less . I just wish words could express . . I'm so sad to see you go but it's better to know your happy . My love isn't false . My love isn't fake . My love is real and our love is the strongest I have ever seen . I hate to see you go but I thought I'd let you know . I love you

I remember . . .

I remember when we used to take tons of pictures . When we constantly wasted so much money at wa wa eating everything bagels and cin raise . When I asked you to marry me at the beach down by the swing . When we first kissed . I remember when I told you that there was nothing more in the world than I wanted to have a family with you . I remember everything we've ever been through . Since age 12 to present . 311 ! Every single moment spent with you is remembered and will never be forgotten . I have been in the wrong as well as you have , but you're right . I was wrong . I can't sleep at night ( hence why I'm always up for 24 hours at a time ) . You're all I think about . All I care for . Nothing and no one else besides my family is even close to being 1/1000000 as important as you are in my life . I'm not mad about what's going on . I guess you could say I'm disappointed . In the both of us . But me especially . That kid that you "fell head over heels" for is real and you know he is . I'm sorry to say the least . I hope when I see you soon I won't die of a heart attack even though that's what will most likely happen . But hey , at least we share what we once did in my dreams every night . I miss you . If there will never be an us again , in 5 days , 5 months , 5 years , 50 years . I will never forget you , never go a day without thinking about you and us for a split second . You're the best thing that has ever happened to me and I wouldn't pick any other girl in the world to be the mother of my child . The least of my worries is if you will be a good mother or not . I know you will be the best mother in the world . I'm proud of you . I'm extremely proud of you . And even if this sounds dumb . I'm proud of you for doing what you think is best for you and the child . Although I may disagree , I still understand where you're coming from . Remember , you're never alone and my love will never die out . I love you . Always and forever . <3 B

About this blog !

Hola ! My name is Bryan Williams . I am 18 years young . I'm a skateboarder and photography / cinematographer . I am going to be a single Father come September 2011 . This blog will show you my everyday life as well as my photography / short films etc . . . It's going to be a fun ride tagging along with me . I've been through more in eighteen years than most have in fifty . This is my life story on a daily basis . So , I'll be starting off this blog with one of my favorite songs of all time . Enjoy ! Dirty Heads - Shine